Drunken Chemist Tales

A group of UK’s chemists and myself went out on the town yesterday evening, and not surprisingly, hilarity ensued. After tossing back a few, I had to let my girlfriend’s dog out, so I left the group and ended up just going back to my apartment. Literally five minutes after I’d gotten home (read: I was still drunk), this crazy clown-looking college student bangs on my door. Being inebriated, I of course opened the door. He started saying something about a riddle and getting points to go to Europe, or something like that. Before I knew it, the guy was inside my apartment and I’d just written a check for a year’s worth of Runner’s World magazine. Why is it that smooth magazine salesmen always seem to come to your door after an evening of drinking?

Later that night some of us went out for ice cream. If you ever want to see some of the world’s most beautiful women do some of the silliest shit imaginable, come to Lexington, Kentucky, on a Friday night. As I was driving everyone back to the chemistry building this chick in a jean skirt about a foot long proceeded to pick a wedgie in the middle of the crosswalk! We were already commenting on how thin her legs were; imagine the volcano of laughter that erupted as she reached around to pull fabric out of her butt! As I said last night, she’ll never do that again.

Even in 2007, people have to be accountable for their wedgies.


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