What Will Ferrell and Sam L. Jackson have in common: a Hollywood rant

Alright, this has nothing to do with chemistry, but it pisses me off.

I finally watched all of Iron Man today, which might be the badassiest movie to hit the silver screen in a decade. Robert Downey Jr. chats up, uppercuts, then blasts with napalm his drug-stained past one after another in this movie, then individually grabs each member of the audience and beats them senseless until they promise to remember him not for the drugs, but for being fucking awesome. Wonderful film, and a great step for Robert Downey Jr.

Unfortunately, it’s like during the credits somebody took the film roll, cut it into a million pieces, threw it in a pile of manure, then tried to reconstruct it. Samuel L. Jackson makes a cameo after the credits being…OMG can you guess it…a badass. Wow. How original. Get a clue SLJ: IT GETS OLD! Let’s contrast RDJ and SLJ for a second: one’s professional life was nearly ruined by drug problems, and the other has been sucking the earth’s tit since Pulp Fiction. One has proven his versatility, acting in such varied films as Iron Man, Charlie Bartlett, and Zodiac, while the other has resigned himself to being forgotten as a pointless character actor. The more I thought about it, Will Ferrell has unfortunately done the exact same thing: he peaked with Stranger than Fiction, and no movie of his since then has been even remotely decent. He’s become not just a character actor, but a bad, stale character actor. It’s sad, because both of them have so much potential. Makes me want to light a memorial bonfire with 200 copies of Snakes on a Plane and Blades of Glory.

This kind of thing seems to happen a lot. I don’t blame Will Ferrell or SLJ, really. I blame Hollywood. I mean yes, it was fucking lame of SLJ to refuse to be in Star Wars III without a “badass scene” (direct quote…seriously, google it), but isn’t that just a symptom of Hollywood’s culture of beating what sells to death? I like the sound of that.

From me to Hollywood: stop beating what sells to death!
From me to America: stop being dumb enough to buy it!


One Comment

  1. Unfortunately…we’re still waiting for that badass scene in The Revenge of the Sith.


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