Enter Slightest Touch. It’s a device women can hook up to their ankles in order to stimulate the nerve pathways that lead to orgasm, without touching a thing (except for a plastic button to turn the thing on, of course). Fucking awesome! After ten to thirty minutes of electrical pulses, gentle stimulation can finish the job. Interesting neuroscience notwithstanding, imagine the repercussions for the vibrator industry! No more shaky sexual instruments sucking up our electrical power, which is growing more and more valuable every day! No sir, Slightest Touch is saving the environment one auto-erotic female at a time. I’m going to pick one up to demonstrate my commitment to the environment…and my support for women’s liberation everywhere.
Seriously though, from this point on I won’t let a single female tell me she can’t reach orgasm…not until the forceful, undeniably electrical grip of Slightest Touch has ensnared her nervous system and she has walked away un-peaked. Men are mere animals, prone to fickle emotions and pissing women off, but Slightest Touch is a machine…a stimulation machine whose sole purpose in life is to grant women the ultimate in physical pleasure. In other words, my perfect role model. I have seen the light, and I can now die in peace, confident that anything is possible. Thank you Slightest Touch. Thank you.
I, for one, welcome our lady-stimulating robot overlords.