Why I Love Fantasy Baseball

Fantasy baseball is a graduate student’s dream. Why? Because it provides little moments of joy, packaged into like two-minute segments, that add up to an extremely high happiness-per-hour ratio. There’s nothing like the excitement of watching your stats climb as the day goes by while you’re between tasks. Beyond that, it’s a great pick-me-up for life in general. Lost your job? Check your fantasy team; BOOM, instant happiness. Wife going behind your back? Forget her: Albert Pujols will never let you down. In fact, I’ll bet that if you packed all of the happiness that fantasy baseball inspires into one continuous hour, the feeling would be something akin to OD’ing on heroin.

That’s hard to come by in graduate school, because large chunks of time just don’t exist. Little dust particles of time do exist, however; and these little particulates can add up to a huge dust bunny of fun.

Not to mention the awesome feeling of epic power. In contrast to every other kind of fantasy sport, while playing fantasy baseball you can do essentially everything that a baseball manager does from the comfort of your own home. And who are we kidding; they probably could too! A-Rod having a down week (read: is it October yet)? BENCH HIS ASS! Spot a rookie that’s on fire that no one has touched yet? Pick him up under the radar. Last season, when Jay Bruce came up for the Reds and starting tearing the skin off the ball, I remember hearing about him what I thought was fairly early. Being a Reds fan, I figured I could scoop him up fairly quickly before anyone noticed. So much for that plan! He had already been picked up by our self-anointed league snob (the guy who always beats yours truly).

Here’s to another season of “I’ll do that in two (or ten) minutes after checking my fantasy stats!”